Things I wish I knew earlier before meeting people

I wasn't confident like any other kids, I didn't talk much and I only had few friends. When I meet new people, I often think like “what if she doesn't like me“"what if he makes fun of my insecurities" ＂I hope nothing bad will happen" and that thinking always made me anxious. Even so, my socializing skills have improved immensely, I still find myself belonging in a small social circle. Yes, I’m an introvert. But don't get the wrong idea of an "introverted" person. Just like other people, I go to the party, I get clingy and talkative to the people I am close with. I also have humor and I can relate to any context of extroverted people. Compared to other people who are much active and outgoing, I consider myself as a part of an introverted individual. So today I'm going to share about on how I survived from meeting people and what I learned from it.

When I was one of the top students in my 4th grade of elementary, There was a group in our classroom that only consisted of 5 bright kids or should I say “honor students”. I don't remember much and I had no idea why, but they somehow reached me out and I started to become part of their group. Because of that, I eventually joined several school academic contests and some dance performances that were held in our school festival. Although, being with the group wasn't bad either. But, I didn’t felt like I belonged to them. I enjoyed more being with my other friends in the same room. And I also felt much comfortable around them. After all, I just managed to get along with the group while spending most of the time with my best friends.

Then after a year of facing conflicts with different people, I also learned some things that I wish I knew earlier before stepping in a social gathering. I self-hatred a lot of times when I couldn't succeed in interacting or mimicking with others because it always ended up in a situation where I look awkward or the person is looking uninterested. (Unless when someone is charming and wants to be close to me) There were also many times when my new classmates were trying to reach out to me, but because of my shy personality and trust issues, It wasn't always easy to make friends or to get closer to people. Especially when I noticed that they have a dissimilar persona as I have. Speaking of making friends, I'm very considerate when it comes to people. It’s not like that I require a high-status profile, or how much money the person makes, Anyone nice and trustworthy can be my friend. And I also don't care about the past or background, as long as the person treats me better, that's also what I give back to that person.

Anyway, after the repeating cycle of my embarrassing failed interface, I figured out the ways of getting along with different types of people. Of course, my confidence is pretty much enhanced now than before, and I learned from my mistakes, So here are the two different things I realized from meeting people.

1. You don't have to do everything just to get along with them

You don't have to imitate or try hard in everything that they do. It took me quite a long process before figuring this out by myself. For example, If you have to be with someone that has the opposite character as yours, It's okay to low-key adjust yourself or try something you aren't used to while you’re still being yourself, (to get along with that person) But do not go deeper in something that does not benefit you in any aspect. Respecting each other might as well, but remember to set a limit on how you're going to push yourself to that person (when it’s needed) and It's important not to lose yourself just by getting to fit in with someone else. Real friends will respect you and accept the way you are.

I have a friend that goes to the club and likes partying every weekend, on the other hand, I don't go to the club nor I have been to before. I'm not judging people who go to the club, It’s just that my friend and I have a completely different interest. We also have different personality vibes and taste in music. He likes rap music and I like general pop music. However, we got closer by making a project and while playing mobile games together. And it's also because we were able to respect each other. It's a fact that not everyone in this world has the same intellect (as yours) and that's why it's not always easy to be with anyone. Still, If you and the other person know how to respect and could get along in a situation with common comprehension, then there will be fewer problems.

2. Remember that having fewer friends doesn't make you a loser

As they say, "It's all about quality over quantity". Having many friends might seem cool but it doesn't always show real friendship. It’s not about collecting how many "friends" you have. Unfortunately, not all of your "friends" will help you in your worst and some of them could betray you or make the situation even worse. A real friend chooses you no matter what and will stand up for you not only when it's convenient but also when it's not. Even if you did something you're not proud of, they know how to protect you and correct you, they will lift you up through your ups and downs.

Back in the days, I had this foolish mindset that I thought I was a loser because I only had few friends. Perhaps, because I knew I was lacking of social skills as well but my idea of being a “loser” was very wrong. It's not about counting how many friends you have nor regarded on the image-based off of being an introvert or an extrovert. After meeting several people in our lives, I think that having friends who value you and are genuinely interested is enough than having countless friends who couldn't care less about you. I mean what’s the point of making friends anyway if they can’t be there for you.

I actually wanted to talk about this topic for a while because socializing was one of the main struggles I had while growing up, And I hope you also realized something from my message!

Thank you for passing by :)

TRULY TREE